Can't beleive how strange it is to be anything at all.
The entire blogging world took a big hit last week when Jacob Bentley announced that he was suspending new posts on his blog. Michael Chan called me and had a nice cry about it, and Emily Sherlock almost killed herself. Everybody at school has been dealing with a freshly crushed soul.
I have wanted to delete my entire blog for a long time... since some time this summer. The few people who I care about will already know everything I would post, and a lot of people who dont give a fuck about me read this blog anyway... and I dont like that.
As you can notice, I have posted very little in the last few months, and nothing in the last month. However, my drafts folder has 40 entries in it that I decided not to post, all from the last three or four months. I dont publish them because most of them are only intended for very few people, or they are too important to me to post on this thing for people who I barely know to be reading.
Ironically, those unpublished posts are my reason for keeping this blog up. When I sit down and hit the 'create post' page, it is sometimes easier for me to write whatever it is that I write. Maybe it is because the idea of having any audience entertains or inspires me, but I really dont know. All that I do know is that I write differently in my drafts than in any notebook or word document, so I am keeping this thing running just for that.
Around a month ago, I published a post about how I stopped writing because the only emotion that I care about is impossible to write about directly. That lasted a couple days until I realized that of course I can't put the best emotion into words, nobody except for maybe Jeff Mangum can. I realized a lot of things I was doing wrong when I wrote, and I fixed them, and now I write a lot.
I am keeping every past post on my blog as a means of history. I look back to my posts from late 2004 when I started this... and it amazes me how I have changed. Even my posts up through April are so different from anything I would ever write today. If today I met the John Frank of last December or April, I would despise him (and he would probably want to kick my ass). I am an entirely different person, and even though those early posts came during some real shitty times that I would rather forget about, i like having them to reflect upon.
Right now I am doing real good even though it is sort of a drag to be thrown back into society's maelstrom after a real peaceful summer.
On a completely random sidenote to this post; Ryan and I recently started an expiremental noise band, which is probably called Manners but that could change. Anyway, I am very excited about this project. I think it is the new punk rock and Ryan thinks it is "the sound of revolution." We will be doing a show somewhere in the next two months, hopefully in late October, because I am really excited to show this music to kids who have never heard anything like it. Also once we get more material on tape, we are going to make some cassettes and give them out at school or sell them for a couple dollars, or something. When I play in Manners, every sound created represents an emotion from inside of me, and no other music can so nakedly expose those raw emotions like that, and that is why I am very excited about it. Anyway, sorry about that random paragraph.
Hey just for fun, here are a few of the titles of some unpublished drafts I have, dating back to late June through just last night: "Emily Kane/Red Moon," "rewinding Celeste," "Frenzied April," "Tommorow as Just," "Why must Bob Dylan exist?," "Tuesday Hotel Mirrors Optimistic," "somepeople 'fraidtosay itloud," "gunning for us," "smashyface," "arsonist of lovelessness," "AUGUST 17, 2005," "Owleyes," "Ryan the Ghost," "in a revolution/inner evolution," "Sheltered broken beaters I," "Firey Fire Inside," "Ariel and Him," "A Lover's Protest," "Sun part II," and many many Untitleds.
There will be no new posts anymore. This blog is strictly a tool for me to write through. Of course, they will probably start flooding out now that I just said that...
Peace.
I have wanted to delete my entire blog for a long time... since some time this summer. The few people who I care about will already know everything I would post, and a lot of people who dont give a fuck about me read this blog anyway... and I dont like that.
As you can notice, I have posted very little in the last few months, and nothing in the last month. However, my drafts folder has 40 entries in it that I decided not to post, all from the last three or four months. I dont publish them because most of them are only intended for very few people, or they are too important to me to post on this thing for people who I barely know to be reading.
Ironically, those unpublished posts are my reason for keeping this blog up. When I sit down and hit the 'create post' page, it is sometimes easier for me to write whatever it is that I write. Maybe it is because the idea of having any audience entertains or inspires me, but I really dont know. All that I do know is that I write differently in my drafts than in any notebook or word document, so I am keeping this thing running just for that.
Around a month ago, I published a post about how I stopped writing because the only emotion that I care about is impossible to write about directly. That lasted a couple days until I realized that of course I can't put the best emotion into words, nobody except for maybe Jeff Mangum can. I realized a lot of things I was doing wrong when I wrote, and I fixed them, and now I write a lot.
I am keeping every past post on my blog as a means of history. I look back to my posts from late 2004 when I started this... and it amazes me how I have changed. Even my posts up through April are so different from anything I would ever write today. If today I met the John Frank of last December or April, I would despise him (and he would probably want to kick my ass). I am an entirely different person, and even though those early posts came during some real shitty times that I would rather forget about, i like having them to reflect upon.
Right now I am doing real good even though it is sort of a drag to be thrown back into society's maelstrom after a real peaceful summer.
On a completely random sidenote to this post; Ryan and I recently started an expiremental noise band, which is probably called Manners but that could change. Anyway, I am very excited about this project. I think it is the new punk rock and Ryan thinks it is "the sound of revolution." We will be doing a show somewhere in the next two months, hopefully in late October, because I am really excited to show this music to kids who have never heard anything like it. Also once we get more material on tape, we are going to make some cassettes and give them out at school or sell them for a couple dollars, or something. When I play in Manners, every sound created represents an emotion from inside of me, and no other music can so nakedly expose those raw emotions like that, and that is why I am very excited about it. Anyway, sorry about that random paragraph.
Hey just for fun, here are a few of the titles of some unpublished drafts I have, dating back to late June through just last night: "Emily Kane/Red Moon," "rewinding Celeste," "Frenzied April," "Tommorow as Just," "Why must Bob Dylan exist?," "Tuesday Hotel Mirrors Optimistic," "somepeople 'fraidtosay itloud," "gunning for us," "smashyface," "arsonist of lovelessness," "AUGUST 17, 2005," "Owleyes," "Ryan the Ghost," "in a revolution/inner evolution," "Sheltered broken beaters I," "Firey Fire Inside," "Ariel and Him," "A Lover's Protest," "Sun part II," and many many Untitleds.
There will be no new posts anymore. This blog is strictly a tool for me to write through. Of course, they will probably start flooding out now that I just said that...
Peace.
posted by John @ 8:35 PM
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